The Art of Accepting Gifts

For the past few years gift giving has become one my favorite parts of the Holidays. I love to give gifts and I can now afford to give gifts. I don't do lavish...usually a heavy flannel shirt or nice sweater, a hat and scarf, a pair of handmade earings. I don't spend more than $40 dollars on any one person, expect maybe Mom.

But this year, Brother3 told my husband he should curb his wife's gift-giving habit! Last year BestBrother chided me for having sent a couple of inexpensive but meaningful gifts to him and his wife...because they "hadn't got us anything."

My response to both, and all others who show this kind of reverse gratitude to friends and family...stop it! If someone giving you a gift makes you uncomfortable, suck it up!

Sister1 explained to me once that when you give a gift, you've put it 'out there', it's no longer yours and belongs not only to the person you gave it to but whomever and whatever they choose to do with it. Now she was trying to explain why our mother shouldn't get upset when she, Sister1 didn't send thank you notes, but I took the message to heart.

I give gifts, no matter the season or the reason, because giving allows me to feel connected to the receiver in a tangible fashion. Its rather like, but not as narcissistic as, giving someone a photograph of yourself. You expect that they will feel closer to you by looking at that photo. I expect that they will remember me kindly when they see, wear, or eat the gift I have given.

The true value in a gift given is not its price or even its usefullness but its abilitiy to allow me to connect with you. Your gift to me is in accepting it graciously.